Monday, December 1, 2008

Christians Are Not Necessarily Full Of Epic Fail

I was just surfing aimlessly this morning before I go into work and I came upon this. I found it a pleasant reminder of just why I do not lament my Christian/Quaker upbringing. In fact, if I didn't have a little problem (probably a much larger one to be honest) with the idea of faith, I certainly would not have a problem remaining a member of the Quaker Society of Friends. I find that I agree with them on just about every issue. Perhaps that's due to my upbringing. But I am a pacifist. I support gay rights. I support racial equality. Just just keep this in mind when you feel like bashing Christians. Not all of them are full of epic fail. (Jeffrey, I'm looking at you.)

Saturday, November 29, 2008

So. . . I Saw A Movie Tonight That Was Certainly Not Full Of Fail


So, Let The Right One In was absolutely amazing. It was actually quite tragic, which is not something I was expecting. I won't spoil this movie for anyone who is interested in seeing it. Suffice it to say I thought it was an incredibly tragic ending. This movie, while certainly had plenty of horror elements readily apparent, was just bursting with tragedy. I was certainly impressed. A friend of mine made an observation about this movie being more about relationships than events and that was what "drew" him in. I concur. It certainly wasn't the usual vampire movie fare. What's more, I urge you all to see it. It's currently at the Valley Art, but who know's how long that one will last. Go now and see this one on the big screen while you can.

Tuesday, November 25, 2008

Obama - Full Of Epic Fail

I winced as the latest round of appointees were announced. And then I laughed cynically. I remembered Matt Taibi speaking of his predictions for the Obama campaign, in that it would consist simply of ever increasing in size signs that simply said "Change" while failing on any level to really bring change. I thought he was correct about Obama (this is one of the major reasons I voted for an actual candidate for change in Ralph Nader- along with attending a Nader event at Changing Hands, etc.). I think he has certainly proved me right so far. I mean, the "economic team" Obama has assembled really brings out the cynic in me. I doubt John McCain and Palin could have done a worse job.

Where is the talk of helping those with real problems brought on by the predatory business practices of these fuckin' capitalist barons? Obama a socialist? Please. Don't be fuckin' stupid. He's appointing these very same asshats that fucked us to begin with. Now they get their chance to fuck us some more. And we have no one to blame but ourselves. To those who wanted the "change" that Obama brings: Enjoy your fuckin' change now.

While I'm on the subject of actual progressive thought, let me mention that I hope that Frankin doesn't get screwed in this fuckin' recount. To those of you that are curious: have you seen the videos that are available on teh internetz of the ridiculous challanges that Coleman is making? I mean, if a person voted for McCain and voted for Frankin clearly, with no other visible markings, Coleman is claiming that those votes should be invalidated because a vote for McCain denotes intent to vote for Coleman. Are you fuckin' kidding me? My favorite though? A guy writes in for president Lizard People and fills in a bubble. For Senate, he writes in Lizard people and draws a bubble, but does not fill in the bubble and instead fills in the bubble for Frankin. Coleman challenged that one of course, though clearly the guy denoted his intention to vote for lizard people with his bubble, and the same happened for Frankin. Whatever.

I had oft (I always wanted to use this archaic word, and now I have) been in argument with people who disputed claims of little difference between Obama and McCain. I submit that the difference has nothing to do with individuals. Rather, it is that there is little difference between the parties that these two candidates represented. Candidates that recieved a nod from these parties have given up whatever differences they had with minor exceptions and moved towards the center/right. Nevermind that this county, in reality, leans more left no matter what Hannity likes to say. Or for that matter O'Reilly. Ah well, c'est la vie.

Whatever. I'm disheartened right now. I can taste the change. And it tastes rotten. Enjoy the fruits of our labor.

Tuesday, November 11, 2008

Football Coaches Are Full Of Epic Fail

So, last night I was so goddamn frustrated as I watched the Cardinals nearly lose a game that should never have been in contention. The Cardinals were losing practically the whole game to the fuckin' 49ers! The fuckin' 49er's! And the 49ers had two running plays on the goal line to win at the end of the game! The fuckin' 49ers! Give me a fuckin' break!

Seriously, I am so angry with the defensive and offensive coordinators. Let me see. . . at first, the Cardinals were playing a no pressure defense and the 49ers moved the ball at will. Then, the Cardinals wise up and start fuckin' blitzing and putting pressure on the Quarterback and what happens? The fuckin' 49ers can't move the ball for shit! That's what fuckin' happens. So, Cardinals take the fuckin' lead and what do they decide to do? Oh, play a no pressure defense for the last 5 min. of the game and allow the fuckin' 49ers to move the ball at will! Are you fuckin' kiddin' me?

I know why they fuckin' do it. They decide to play prevention defenses because if they don't it reflects poorly on the coach if he's seen to gamble the win away. But seriously, this is the coarse that is for the lose. I mean, it nearly happened against the Cowboys earlier this season. We put pressure on the fuckin' QB, sack Romo more than he had ever been sacked, even fuckin' tear up his body, and in the last few minutes decide to stop doing what works. What happens? Why, the Cowboys come back and take the game to fuckin' OT of course. Fuck me. The same thing nearly happened last night and would have if it hadn't been for some fuckin' luck.

Seriously, everytime I see the Cardinals rush three and play a prevention on like 3rd and 25 or so, I freak out because I know the conversion is coming. It came against Carolina over and over again. It came against Dallas at the end of the game. It certainly came last night. What the fuck! I think people don't understand for what a prevent defense should be used. It shouldn't be used when a team has 2 min. to get down the field and score. It should be used when a team has 1 play to get 50 yards for a score. Prevent gives up a lot of short and medium yardage, which is terrible when a team is going the length of the field on multiple plays. It is not unusual to see a team give up 20 yards on a prevent defense? Why? Because it did what it was supposed to do and fuckin' prevented the fuckin' touchdown that was 50 yards away. With the Cardinals though, this is even worse because the talent and team dynamic is so full of fail when playing a prevention style defense. They are terrible at it. Stop playing it please. Keep hitting the QB. Don't stop hitting the QB. You will lose that way.

And as far as the offense is concerned, give me a break. They need to put a muzzle on this offensive coordinator first. Let Kurt run no huddle more. It fuckin' tires out the defense. And he's fuckin' good at it. Some of the Cardinals best drives this year were during a no huddle offense. Let the man work. Second, stop trying to force the run so much. The Cardinals are terrible at run blocking. It's hard to run when you have defensive linemen in the backfield. Open the game up more. Pass for like 9 straight downs. And when the defense gives up on defending the run, run it a bit. Then pass for like 9 straight downs. When I watch Cardinals drives fail, it is usually because they forced 2 telegraphed runs in a series of downs. That puts a lot of pressure on recievers and QB's to get the first in 1 play, and there's a lot of shit that can go wrong. Give up forcing the run. Run it from like a draw every so often. It will fuckin' work, I promise.

Oh, and take some fuckin' game theory classes. Play to the Cardinals strengths, not weaknesses. Fuckin' stop trying to force them to do shit like prevent defenses, running, huddles when they have clearly superir options. Set the tone for the game. Make the game about what the Cardinals do best. See if the other team can keep up. The Cardinals have so much talent on the fuckin' team. Fuckin' utilize it the way it needs to be used. Give up trying to play against the fuckin' talent. Embrace it. Grow a pair. Go out on a limb. I understand that such decisions might reflect badly on the coaching staff. But seriously, grow a pair. The cardinals should really only have 1 loss right now. In my opinion, the other 2 can be chalked up to poor coaching and a mismanagement of the team at the end of the game. Learn from those mistakes. We are going to need to against teams like the Giants and the fuckin' Pat's.

Sunday, November 2, 2008

My Epic Fail Prediction For Tuesday In Lolcat Form!


So, I thought I'd switch it up and tell what I think the story will probably be on Tuesday in a lolcat narrative form. I hope you enjoy it!

















Next up. . . Lolcat narrative about the coming Labour Camps!

Monday, October 27, 2008

I Just Want To Show You What Not Full Of Fail Must Be Like!


I was just surfing and found this which I thought was awesome. This guy is my new hero. And apparently he's YHWH's new hero as well. I mean, he's a transtranssexual. That alone would give me hope. But to find out he's transwizardly as well? And he was in prison? And he has the most medically amazing wife I've ever heard about? We need to find this guys wife, lock her up, take out her uterus that must have grown back, and begin our sweet uterus farm! I mean, there must be a market for sweet miracle uteri (is that the plural?)! And then we can lock this joker up and raid his body for the sweet genetic profile of a person who is apparently immune to HIV now and solve our crisis. We just have to track this guy down and stalk his family. Then with a little extra-legal wrangling, we could be millionaires! Who's with me? I mean, it's not like it's gonna be hard now that he put an address on there for us to begin our stalkings. Seriously, who doesn't like easy money?

The Hurricane Is Coming. . . And It's Gonna Be Full Of Epic Fail!

So, for those who think we're through the woods, think again. Europe is hurting even more now with this collapse in Eastern Europe and South America with their large exposure there. Japan's stock market is now down to a historic low, down to levels in 1982.

But I found the following interesting. Apparently, there was a division of Goldman Sachs that was selling mortgage debt to state retirement funds. What does that mean you ask? Well, it likely means that these same state retirement funds have lost large reserves that were going to be used to pay retirees. What I found even more humorous though: apparently there was another division of Goldman Sachs that was shorting these sales. In other words, Goldman Sachs was selling shit they knew was going to fail and so decided to profit twofold on the sale. Good thing they self-regulated, right Greenspan?

In other, related news: Greenspan has acknowledged that he, Alan Greenspan, is full of epic fail. Well no shit Alan. We knew that already.

We'll all see what happens when the true shit storm begins. Currently, there is just a lot of fluctuation. I think the end result has yet to be seen. Can you saw hyperinflation? See what that's like here. I hope you don't plan on retiring in the next few years. Fixed incomes are worthless when hyperinflation hits. Granted, it would be unlikely for the US currency to experience hyperinflation to this magnitude. But imagine if in the year the US were to experience a year of 30% inflation? This is certainly doable, and probably very likely. Good times are here again I guess. . .

Thursday, October 23, 2008

Constitution Free = Epic Fail

So I'm watching the Democracy Now headlines this morning and I'll link the one in particular that I found horrifying here.

First, let me say that the fuckin' right in this country no longer gets to be the party of "freedom" and "liberty". They like to trot these ideals out every so often, much like they trot out "democracy". You may be curious then at what the right in this country is about.

To this end, I've decided to compile a list of things that the right is not about. Feel free to make any suggestions if you think I've missed anything. This will be a good place to start later when I work on a list of what the right is about.

Human Rights, Liberty, Freedom, Democracy, Intelligence, Helping the Poor, Equality, Habeas Corpus, Fair Business Practices, Separation of Church and State, Freedom of the Press, Free Speech, Educating the Populace, Right to Assembly (pretty much the whole of the first Amemndment), Honesty, Justice. . .

I'm running out of time as I have to go to class. Like I said, feel free to add to this list.

Wednesday, October 22, 2008

Traitors Are Full Of Epic Fail!


Alright, I'm fuckin' fueled with vitriol right now. I came home late and watched the Democracy Now program that we had recorded from earlier today. Let me say first that I haven't been this angry for going on years. I'm so fuckin' upset right now. I think it's a good thing that I'm a believer in non-violence.

First, I'm going to give you a link to the transcript of the interview that had me so incensed here. I suggest that if you care at all about the democratic process that you endeavor to read this transcript. I have been saying this shit for what feels like a fuckin' eternity at this point. We need to be very careful in this country. We are at a crossroads. And these assholes, these fuckin' fascist assholes, have made their bid for power. And no one has even fuckin' batted an eye in the mainstream outlets.

Here's a fuckin' chilling story right here. What do you think is going to happen on election day? I wonder what the real margin is right now between Barrack Obama and John McCain? I theorize that it could be as intense as 70/30 at this point in time. This shit is about to hit the fan in this country. They've already fuckin' prepared a coverstory to account for a major swing on election day, citing ridiculous fuckin' propaganda in the "Bradley effect". Failing acceptance of that, they have the military ready to go to suppress the public.

Let me tell you what I propose. We need to find all these fucks involved, all these fuckin' Karl Roves et al, anyone that has been involved in caging, anyone that has been involved in the suppression in any way of minority votes, anyone that has been involved in rigging elections, anyone that has any sort of knowledge of what's going on at ES&S and Diebold (or whatever they're calling themselves these days), anyone involved in this ridiculous crusade against ACORN and we need to prosecute them as traitors. Nothing is more subversive to the idea of Democracy than the systematic disenfranchisment of the populace and the total and complete overthrow of democratic rule. Religious extremists could not have had a more negative impact on our Republic through violent terrorism. This is the single, greatest threat to this country that I have seen in my lifetime. This is perhaps the single greatest threat to this country ever. And our fuckin' complicit media is busy worrying about fuckin' Palin's wardrobe or ACORN as a subversive entity. Fuck me.

Last Time I Checked, Racism Was Still Epic Fail

So I want to reference this story printed in Time here. I saw this story this morning on Reddit and I thought to myself, holy shit racism is still alive and fuckin' well in this country. I on some level couldn't even believe that blatant racism like this was still a fact of life for minorities in this country. I bet the fuckers that are responsible for denying a black community water are fuckin' McCain supporters. Or maybe they're more extreme and dream of the days when David Duke is fuckin' president and his vice president is fuckin' Pat Buchanan. Either way, this story scares me.

When I see a story like this, it makes me wonder if anyone I know is racist. Of course, the flippant but maybe correct answer is who do I know that is voting for McCain? I say this not because these people are failing to vote for a black candidate; they are supporting what to my mind can only be a racist candidate. The message of the Republican party for the last 7 years has been an unbroken message of hatred towards Muslims (most of whom happen to be of different races than caucasian), hatred towards hispanics (those ridiculous ideas about the illegal immigrants that are causing all the problems in this country), and the hatred of affirmative action (I know a lot of suburbanite teens that believe they were the victims of discrimination due to affirmative action and so this concept gains a lot of traction amongst people I know. "I didn't get into [insert college here] because some black kid with a 950 on his SATs did.").

Of those, I find myself disagreeing with all three sentiments. The notable exception is that I don't like the way affirmative action is applied currently. I think there should be an economic qualifier for affirmative action which is not currently in place. I do find it ridiculous that incredibly wealthy minority individuals receive so much aid where none is needed while minority students that need a lot of aid receive none. For instance, I know a kid that went to Stanford whose parents have a private jet and own a very successful, multi-million dollar business that I find to be vaguely predatory towards the poor. This individual had Standford offer to fly him out and pay for everything and promise everything to this individual during decision time for his undergraduate. Why? Because he was an incredibly intelligent and successful minority. I've known a lot of students who were as intelligent and successful but were not minorities. They got no such treatment. This kid's flippant response to Stanford was something along the lines of: "Whatever, I'll fly out in my jet. Save the aid for the kid that needs it." But this is the sad truth. I have no problem with the idea of affirmative action. I just wish it was implemented better.

My questions for you though is these: Do you find yourself thinking that illegal immigrants are to blame for many problems in this country and see illegal immigration as a prioity? Do you find yourself railing against affirmative reaction? Lastly, do you fear Muslim terrorists? I will also venture to ask two more. . . Are you against welfare? And the followup : when you picture a wellfare recipient, what race is that individual? Perhaps these questions might be a litmus test to begin examining whether or not racism has a home in your viewpoints.

And if you answered black to the final question, you can fuckin' thank Ronald fuckin' Reagan for that one. What a racist and ignorant fuck that guy was. You can fuckin' thank him for privatizing those wonderful governments institutions of Fanny Mae and Freddie Mac by the way. But even more you can thank him for instilling in our society the image of "Big Bertha", the black woman that had a lot of kids and took advantage of the governments charity. Fuck that racist asshole. If it hadn't been for the second Bush, I would be tempted to say that that Ronnie, that fuckin' cockcheese, might have been the worst president ever- even among such assholes as Grant, Harding, etc. We are still feeling the effects of his presidency. Somehow, his fuckups keep coming back to roger us again and again. And yet the fuckin' conservatives love this guy. Go figure. I just think it's another instance of epic fail racism beneath the surface in this country.

Tuesday, October 21, 2008

Response To Steven. . . In Epic Fail Blog Form

I don't know Steven. . . seems to me like you can judge the message by the people with which it resonates. For instance, crazy talk about comets being mother ships attracts crazy kooks. Crazy talk about "the real Obama" (who happens to associate with terrorists, might be a an Islamic jyhadist, and probably hates America) attracts hill people. Is this McCain's message? Absolutely. Did you hear what Colin Powell said about the agenda of the Republican leadership as it regards this notion during his declaration of support for Obama? I mean that's the fuckin' proverbial smokin' gun. Let's see if I can find some quotes for you. . . oh how about here at the Huffington Post?

Besides which. . . it's not like the fuckin' hill people are a "fringe" group like the fuckin' white power morons that supported Ron Paul. These fuckin' hill people happen to make up a decent portion of the electorate that supports McCain. Can we judge McCain by this element? You better fuckin' believe it! I mean, I think you could get a decent idea about Hitler from the Nazi's, or a decent idea about Manson from his women, or a decent idea about Jim Jones from the kooks that followed him. Why? Because the message that these individual leaders carried resonated with their followers. These asshats peddle their moronic, racist, simplistic, ridiculously stupid view of the world and it is picked up by the fuckin' hill people. Go figure. Quite frankly, what the Republican campaign has done truly boggles my mind in that it hasn't alienated every non-racist around. . . or maybe it has and that only racists are left supporting McCain. You might come to that conclusion by watching a video of a fuckin' Palin rally. I sure as fuck did. And not just that one. I've seen other fuckin' clips that churn my stomach. Don't think for an instant that this is isolated in any way.

Which brings me to the following in a totally non-sequiter fashion. I have been thinking a lot recently due to some remarks made by someone who will remain nameless. A friend at lunch one day began the ol' "it's my money, not theirs" discussion about "deserving" wealth. I was talking with this nameless friend (who wants to remain anonymous because he doesn't want anyone to know that he wears a tinfoil hat) about the idea of "deserving" money. Does someone who garners wealth in our society "deserve" that money as opposed to someone who is poor? What entitles him to the "deserving" of wealth? I mean, do the poor in Africa "deserve" poverty? How about the joys (which are many though I'm going to only list 2 here. . . but we could go on trust me) that come with poverty like starvation and AIDS. Do women deserve less money than men because they are paid less on average for the same work? Do minorities deserve a poor education because they happen to be born into a poor school system? What do people really "deserve"? As near as I can tell this is a fuckin' holdover from the fuckin' Victorians and that fuckin' rise of the "Protestant work ethic". Well you know what?

Seriously. . . fuck the Victorians. Why is this practically the only vestige left of Victorian morality left? Get it the fuck out. To think that people "deserve" an end condition separate from others is quite frankly ludicrous and smacks of the ridiculous logic that permeated fuckin' Victorian predestination dogma. Somehow though, we got rid of the idea of fuckin' predestination and kept the other piece. Go fuckin' figure. You know the Victorians also had some kooky ideas about sexuality, church and state, censorship, etc. We seem to have in general rejected most of those. . . why can't this specter of predestination pass as well. Seriously, it's about fuckin' time.

Monday, October 20, 2008

Seems Like All The Epic Fail Is Coming Out For Autumn!

First, let me say that I found this shit extremely funny. It was so fucking funny I almost began crying as I was reading this shit. What the fuck is with this country?

I mean seriously, if I thought for an instant that I might vote for McCain, a simple meet and greet with any of these fucked up people involved in the above linked letter or even with the people in the video I posted the other day would convince me that I was wrong in my support. I mean seriously, do you really want to be associated with horrible fuckin' hill people that believe that Obama is winning this campaign with fuckin' witchcraft from Africa? I am not an Obama supporter, as most of you probably know, but give me a fuckin' break. And just so we're clear, this post isn't about partisanship. It is about fuckin' retarded hill people.

Friday, October 17, 2008

For Those That Doubt That This Country Is Full Of Epic Fail. . .

I offer the following video into evidence:


Seriously though, how do these fucking simpletons come up with this shit. I was literally speechless after the first time I saw that video. Goddamn fucking hill people need to hurry up and secede. I mean, I'm willing to concede the fucking breadbasket, Texas, the fucking states with the Appalachian mountains. Let them have those to run into the ground. They can stop minority presidents all they want in their country (not to mention get protection from witches, lower taxes, etc.).

I Hope This Movie Isn't Full Of Fail


Get More Let The Right One In Trailers at TerrorFeed.com
So I think this movie looks hawt!
Keith put me onto this last night and I think it looks Chimera! I have a fondness for the vampire movies. . . especially ones so novel as this one. It seems to have been well recieved so far as well.

Monday, October 13, 2008

Hopefully not epic fail!


There. That's for the last blog attempt that was full of epic fail.
Pretty awesome. That dog looks like it's had a day full of epic fail as well.





Seriously though, this guy here is the man:


I really don't have much more to say at the moment. I am breaking from my logic homework and I need to get back to it. So allow me to simply say that hopefully this blog attempt won't be so full of epic fail.